Friends

Geromy asks me “why don’t you have more friends, or why don’t you try to meet more girls to hang out with?” Or why don’t you go out and have a good time with the girls tonight? And I think to myself, Huh, how come, I don’t call some friends and go out; and get crazy shit-faced tonight? Well, I know the answer to that question, and I already know the end result, deep down and I hate it. I like calling my friends, I have three that I talk to on a daily basis and God love them, really, but in the end I always end up getting hurt somehow. I have had years of experience trusting many girls and guys for the record but the track record isn’t too good. I give and give, and sometimes receive and try not to let it bother me when it’s a one way street all the time, but it does suck.
I try to ignore the requests for money at all different times of the day, and intoxicated persons harassing us for money and constant favors being asked of me. I tell myself that it’s ok to help people out and we all have our ups and downs. I have learned some valuable lessons with trusting certain people and being let down and being able to trust someone completely and not having to go through that again. I can move on to the next step. I love my friends and will always be there to lend a helping hand in time of need, but many will consider me very harsh and abrupt when stating this. I will not now, nor will I ever tolerate an obnoxious drunk showing up at my door hollering and banging fists on the door and kicking the door and screaming/hollering for no reason and waking us both up from a sound sleep at 7 AM on Sunday AM.
I realize that answering the door with a 7 “ blade- Wolfgang Puck Series kitchen knife is a little off but when I get woken up too early, when I’m trying to get quality time with my man who normally works 70 hours a week. Ya, I was pissed, and it was just a gut reaction to grab the knife on the way to the door (all in one sweeping motion) to swing the door open and fling the knife in their face. Instead of getting angry, I decided to go the other way and accept the whole incident as a “special” circumstance and forget it. It’s really not worth the fight, because I need to learn how to be more relaxed and not uptight anyway. Friends can make people happy, but they can also ruin your day if things don’t go just so, sometimes. It is certainly worth trying to make a few friends along the way. Even if you do get hurt once in a while. I always tell myself that I need to trust more people and distrust less. It has been a struggle for several years but my knight in shining armour has shown me the trusting side of people not always the negative.